I still have BIG FEELINGS shirts! And I still have big feelings!!
I have had an exceedingly busy summer. Somehow, the gardening work would just not end. The amount of heat and rain followed by more rain and heat produced vines, the likes of which I had never seen before. Extreme growth of every weed meant that it didn’t matter how many hours I had spent last week, this week the weeds would be there again- so vigorous, you could almost feel them reaching out toward you, trying to wrap around your ankles and wrists.
This has been a little depressing.
I thrive on small successes. I love to turn back and see the place look more beautiful than did before I arrived. “Make it look like we were there,” is a common phrase we bounce around while gardening. But, week on week of extreme heat indices, has meant that I very seldomly feel like one project is done, and certainly never feel like a whole garden looks great. Not to mention, I watched a beautiful Black Swallowtail Butterfly lay eggs, watched the caterpillars grow and get fat and then watched them all get eaten by wasps one after another. COME ON!! My poor heart!
I’ve known for a while that I would not be able to garden professionally forever, it’s extremely hard, physically. And, though my body has done a remarkable job acclimating to the Oklahoma summer, it is difficult to crawl around on your hands and knees for hours when you feel like you are breathing in a sauna. I blacked out at a job for the first time and that’s a warning sign, if ever there was one.
A few years ago, I started asking questions about doing more formal work for the church. I have always been passionate about my views that Christianity, at its core, is very oriented toward loving, caring, and supporting the marginalized.
As an author I read a lot of, Richard Rohr, says, “Many people now find solidarity in think tanks, support groups, prayer groups, study groups, house-building projects, healing circles, or community-focused organizations. Perhaps without fully recognizing it, we’re actually heading in the right direction. Some new studies indicate that Christians are not so much leaving Christianity as they are realigning with groups that live Christian values in the world—instead of just gathering again to hear the readings, recite the creed, and sing songs on Sunday. Jesus does not need our singing; we need instead to act like a community.”1
My community of artists and people who work with the Earth, seem to have a lot more humanity than those in leadership right now. We may be a band of outsiders, but we have morals and can tell when a genocide is happening. We can tell when we’re being duped by the wealthy and we can see when our friends and neighbors are suffering.
Those of us that have a relationship with the church, know that we are called to love God and love our neighbor. More often than not, this isn’t what we are seeing on display in America today. The current trend of Christian nationalism feels so perverse to me that I have been extremely motivated to find a way to counteract that narrative.
So, to the surprise of some of you, I am going back to school to get a Masters of Divinity. I’ve been accepted to Duke University and I start in a few weeks! I am studying in a hybrid program, so I will be flying to Durham North Carolina once a semester to meet with my professors and classmates. The rest of the time I will be working from home. I don’t know which direction I will end up going. My grandfather was a priest, but I don’t see myself in an authoritative role like that. Maybe chaplaincy? Maybe more writing? I really have no idea, and I cannot believe I got into Duke, but I am going with it and I am seeing where it takes me! There has to be a way to do more good in this world, even if it’s just listening to somebody who is having a hard day.
This means my life is taking a sharp turn, away from full-time gardening, to make room for school. It also means that I am trying to make space in my studio for doing my schoolwork. There is artwork on every flat surface and some of these paintings are going to need to be replaced with books. What an absolute mess!!!
To help make that physical space, I’ve decided to have a sort of online garage sale. This will help me clean up as well as raise a few extra dollars for school expenses.
Starting on Sunday 9AM Central Time, I will be opening my shop with a whole host of originals. Some are large, finished pieces, some are more sketches of ideas. There will be a variety sizes and prices! They will be priced to sell, unframed. I hope you’ll all find something you like!
Don’t think for a minute that I will stop painting. I’ve been painting “formally” since I was nine years old and I have no intention of stopping now. With any luck, I am hoping that this new mental stimulation and shift in path will mean that I’ll be painting more. Some of you will like to know that I have already started work on the 2026 calendar… I’ll keep you posted! Sign up for updates, I won’t flood your inbox!
Thanks to all of you for being here, I appreciate it so much.
Ro
PS If you’d like to donate a few dollars to my fund, I’ve set up a tip jar! thank you!
Reference:
Adapted from Richard Rohr, The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope for, and Believe(Convergent, 2021), 197, 200–201.
Smiling so big.
Proud of you. Also can’t wait for garage sale!